Greetings, Internet! I hope everyone’s staying as safe and sane as can be. This was the first week recovering from a procedure that would be straightforward if I was able-bodied. Alas, I am not, and this is really difficult. Daily summaries below!

Day Six Hundred and Eighty-Seven (1/28/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day One of Forty-Two (based on a six-week recovery period; the final number may change depending on follow-up appointment(s))
• Me, yesterday: “I don’t need prescription strength painkillers! I feel great!”
• Me, today: “Hello, pain, ow, bitch, why did you think you were invulnerable to physical pain?”
• Wound care.
• My father stopped by for lunch. We ordered dim sum. Mmm…dim sum.
• It’s flurrying!
• Phoneday and a chess date =) (Side note: I am terrible at chess and was told to take back two of my moves because they were that bad.)
• Did an hour of standing frame! Huzzah!
• Currently feeling: The fatigue and pain from the surgery is hitting. Oof. And I still have emails and things to send.
• Currently looping: My Spotify VALentine playlist.

Day Six Hundred and Eighty-Eight (1/29/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day Two of Forty-Two
• My body: “Hey, I know you’re recovering from surgery and all that, but did you want your period early?”
  Me: “No, not real–,”
  My body: “Here you go, your period, enjoy!”
• Ow. Ow. Ow.
• Called my bestie!
• Wordle: Four guesses.
• Currently feeling: Guys, recovery is rough.
• Currently looping: “Everything Black” by Unlike Pluto and Mike Taylor. I know it’s trap music. Shush.

Day Six Hundred and Eighty-Nine (1/30/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day Three of Forty-Two
• “Hello darkness, my old friend,” but replace “darkness” with “bodily pain that makes you regret all the life choices (that weren’t actually choices) that led to this moment.” And what is the pain from? My period? The surgery site? Something else?
• Tried to work on this article, but everything hurts.
• Missed my blockmate reunion because everything hurts.
• Okay, not everything. Let’s just say that my procedure involved part of my digestion system. And so the aftermath of eating hurts. I need to eat.
• And on a lighter note, so happy for Rafa Nadal!! I don’t care what anyone says, he looks like Snoopy.
• Alrighty, Cincy! Beat LA!
• Wordle: Four guesses!
• Currently feeling: <sobs>
• Currently looping: Spotify VALentine playlist.

Day Six Hundred and Ninety (1/31/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day Four of Forty-Two
• It’s my mother’s birthday! We had some cake.
• Pain subsided for a bit. Was able to get a bit done in terms of sending emails.
• Worked a bit more on an essay. This should not be taking me this long, but, you know, post-op.
• Called my bestie!
• A friend stopped by for a belated Christmas delivery (and alcohol, which I think I’m allowed to have?). Hopefully when I’m not in super post-op pain, I can see him before he starts a postdoc overseas!
• Did the standing frame! Ordinarily, I did it everyday, but given post-op stuff, getting any standing done is noteworthy.
• Oh no, the pain has returned.
• What did I ever do to you, body?
• Oh, right, the surgery. <sobs>
• Wordle: Five guesses.
• Currently feeling: At least most of the day was a win?
• Currently looping: Dua Lipa’s “New Rules.”

Day Six Hundred and Ninety-One (2/1/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day Five of Forty-Two
• Happy Year of the Tiger!
• Is this period pain or surgery pain? Who knows at this point? My body just tells me that things hurt.
• Okay, able to manage the pain slightly better.
• This essay is making a bit more sense! Huzzah!
• My mother baked a butternut squash pie! Mmm, pie.
• More standing frame! More huzzah!
• Wordle: Two guesses. Feeling like a baller.
• Currently feeling: This is the slowest I have ever written a short essay. But I guess that’s what happens when you’re in recovery mode?
• Currently looping: Carly Rae Jepsen’s live performance of “Your Type.” I love this song so much.

Day Six Hundred and Ninety-Two (2/2/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day Six of Forty-Two
• Therapy! Got to recap all of the post-op pain-related things.
• Who likes an impromptu phone call? This gal. Right here.
• Is this essay done yet? Ugh, just like, one more paragraph to tie things together.
• <sigh> “Jeopardy!” feels so weird without Amy Schneider.
• Kind of digging this ode to insomnia. Thanks, SNL, for taking a bunch of my nighttime fears and putting them in a song.
• Wordle: Three guesses. And ew, what a word.
• Currently feeling: When you start to feel hella pain and you’re all, “Oh my gosh, what is happening?” and then remember that you didn’t take your extra strength Tylenol (which you’re only taking because the prescription meds have side effects that your body absolutely hates). But hey, less effective painkillers are better than no painkillers.
• Currently looping: Carly Rae Jepsen’s “I Really Like You” live.

Day Six Hundred and Ninety-Three (2/3/22)

• Post-Op Countdown: Day Seven of Thirty-Nine (that’s right, the second follow-up appointment is going to make the total recovery time three days shorter than anticipated, so, huzzah!)
• Things started off all right, but then the wound site started draining an amount of blood I found alarming over a five-minute span. Oh, also my body was in a decent amount of pain. My vitals were fine, though.
• Checked with the surgeon. The drainage is fine.
• Called my bestie because oof.
• The pain has returned.
• The pain has subsided.
• Wordle: Six tries. Geez, I’m really in a fog today.
• Currently feeling: I know I made it a week, but this is hard and I hate that the only reason it’s difficult is because the recovery was never designed to be easy for someone living with paralysis. I’m so tired. My body hurts. I can be fine one minute and shaking the next, and I don’t know what’s happening, only that this is how my body responds to discomfort.
• Currently looping: Tegan and Sara’s new version of “Where Does the Good Go.” It’s so sad in this style, I love it.

Thanks so much for reading! Stay safe, get vaccinated/boosted, and if you have any spare positive vibes, please send them my way ❤