Greetings, Internet! I hope everyone’s staying as safe and sane as can be. Both my parents got the vaccine, I finally started the first draft of my first dissertation chapter, and I sent in a copyright application for “Jackass”! Daily summaries below!

Day Three Hundred and Thirty-Seven (2/12/21)

• Did the FES cycle.
• I don’t know what’s come over me, but I created a Valentine’s Day playlist on Spotify. Of course it’s called VALentine. I have angry playlists, breakup playlists, and playlists to hype myself up, but nothing for happy sappy love songs. Until now.
• Also I started rewatching ‘90s boyband music videos. Then creeped myself out when I realized that Nick Carter is basically seventeen years old as he tries to seduce the camera. Oh dear. No. Jailbait (basically). Will not be watching. (Listening, however, yes, because who doesn’t love “Quit Playing Games with My Heart”?)
• And now I’m singing along to the re-recorded “Love Story” that TayTay just released. Is anyone else excited for the “Fearless” re-record? Because I sure am.
• Finished up my slides for my mini-lecture. Just have to do a dry run tomorrow and then I can start recording.
• Blockmate Galentines Call! I am so drunk and full of Galentines hearts and feels right now.
• Currently feeling: SO DRUNK, HI THERE.
• Currently looping: Taylor Swift’s re-recording of “Love Story.” I mean, I know that The Pretty Reckless just released a new album, but also, I’m hyped for more T-Swift.

Day Three Hundred and Thirty-Eight (2/13/21)

• Reviewed my mini-lecture for the course I’m TA-ing. I think it’s acceptable, but we shall see what the professor thinks.
• FaceTimed my sister and niece! She immediately demanded that I show her Hello Kitty. Then my parents were brought into the FaceTime and my niece asked to see photos on my parents’ stairway wall and on the living room mantle. She’s even cute when she’s bossy.
• Sent in my workshop draft a week late. Sorry, writing buddy.
• Watched “Trainwreck.” 
• Started my first dissertation chapter draft. DUN DUN DUN.
• Currently feeling: Honestly, I’d been avoiding “Trainwreck” because, for years, it pained me to see a nice guy (played by Bill Hader) fall for someone who didn’t want a monogamous relationship (played by Amy Schumer). To me, it was like seeing a rich person win the lottery. Like, why should they get it when people who actually would appreciate the lottery winnings lose out again? And that had a lot to do with my own resentment issues (and my neverending concern that men see the chair and immediately think they can do better). The fact that I got through the movie feeling like: 1. I want LeBron to be my best friend; and 2. Aw, I’m happy for her that she overcame her fear of commitment for someone who seems to be a genuinely good person; means that therapy is working. Oh, don’t get me wrong, when I meet someone who just sucks as a person, I will forever question how they ended up with a kind and caring partner. But for me, if there’s someone out there, I’ll meet them and I won’t have to convince them I’m worth their time. And if there isn’t, well, that excess time will be well spent, I assure you.
• Currently looping: The Pretty Reckless’ “Only Love Can Save Me Now.” I’m so excited for this album.

Day Three Hundred and Thirty-Nine (2/14/21)

• Happy Valentine’s Day! I love love, guys.
• “Avengers: Endgame” is a Valentine’s Day movie. Prove me wrong.
• Was probably a mistake to order takeout on Valentine’s Day, because everyone in NYC ordered takeout and my noodles arrived lukewarm. Ah well, it was nothing my stove couldn’t fix.
• Did course prepwork.
• How is it possible that my laptop keeps telling me that I’m running out of space?! I keep deleting things!
• Currently feeling: Seeing happy couples on Facebook used to make me want to throw things. Instead, I was happy for everyone. I like not being resentful/jealous. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling hella fulfilled juggling grad student obligations and a really fun hobby. Here’s hoping I don’t turn into a blue meanie after I graduate, haha.
• Currently looping: KT Tunstall’s “It Took Me So Long to Get Here, But Here I Am (Live).”

Day Three Hundred and Forty (2/15/21)

• New York expanded the eligibility for covid vaccinations. I still don’t qualify. I asked my doctor and she was like, “Yeah, you’re healthy. Quadriplegia doesn’t qualify.” Ironically, if I had taken terrible care of myself and ended up with a heart condition (people with SCI are at higher risk of high cholesterol) or obesity, then I would’ve qualified. But then I would have a heart condition and obesity, which, no.
• My mother’s here! She brought butternut squash muffins.
• Watched the lectures for this week’s class. Prepared a plan for precept.
• Music lesson! Learned that it’s okay to ask people to subscribe to my channel (because the worst thing they can say is no). All righty, if you follow this blog and want to support my musical stylings, then please subscribe to my YouTube Channel! Don’t have a YouTube account? Well, if you have a gmail account, you can use it to log into YouTube. And then subscribe.
• Teaching meeting! And then I gave my professor a brief tutorial on how to use iMovie. She then gave me a tutorial on powerpoint.
• Emailed my precepts. Just have to record my lecture this week (which you will be able to see in less than a month if you subscribe to my channel!).
• Currently feeling: I am properly swamped with all of the work things. And trying to build my channel. And all of the things. Feels like I’m back in college, but with a more responsible sleep schedule.
• Currently looping: Brandi Carlile’s live version of “The Story.” I love the power behind her voice.

Day Three Hundred and Forty-One (2/16/21)

• Did the FES cycle.
• Recorded the audio for my mini-lecture. Now to add the slides!
• Precept! You ever have one of those sessions where it’s dead silent and you end up giving a whole unplanned lesson on the “fall” of the Roman Empire (and how it was more of a transformation into successor kingdoms in the West, but actually the Eastern Roman empire lasted until the fifteenth century) and how climate history kind of sort of has two schools of thought (one of which they were reading about even though there is zero mention of environmental determinism in there, but it’s in there)? Oof. In my defense, I asked what the students thought of this one guy’s argument and got crickets. Sorry, Tuesday precept.
• I’m going to copyright “Jackass.” She’s mine and I believe in her. And now I just need to make it official. #belatedvalentine And yes, as I received my confirmation of application emails, I was listening to Taylor Swift’s “Fearless.” Don’t judge my hype music.
• Currently feeling: Trying to reassure myself that I’m not the worst TA for basically going into panic mode and talking for fifteen minutes straight. But also I feel so bad that my students got stuck with a rookie who launches into related content (but also maybe more content than they needed?).
• Currently looping: Michael Bublé’s “Haven’t Met You Yet.”

Day Three Hundred and Forty-Two (2/17/21)

• My mother got her second covid vaccine dose today!
• Turns out that the audio I recorded for that mini-lecture has the sound of my mother washing dishes in the background (yes, I did tell her I was going to record audio in advance). I think she thinks the rooms in my apartment are soundproof. They are not.
• Should I rerecord? Might be fun to listen to dishes in the background if students get bored of my actual lecture content.
• Office hours! Three students showed up!
• My guitar instructor stopped by with my new electric guitar! He then set it up, we tested her out with an amp, and she’s just the prettiest guitar I ever played. Now I have to see if I can play her without her sliding off my lap (electric guitars tend to do that).
• Precept! Went much better than last night’s precept.
• FaceTime with my sister and niece! I showed them my new guitar =)
• I thought I could have “Avengers: Endgame” on in the background while I got ready for bed. This was a mistake. It’s almost 1am. Whoops.
• Currently feeling: I have so many song ideas now. And there are some songs that I want to re-record with chord distortion.
• Currently looping: A live performance of Robyn’s “Show Me Love.” 

Day Three Hundred and Forty-Three (2/18/21)

• My father got his first covid vaccine dose today!
• Did the FES cycle.
• This is me in a highlight reel.
• Posted a video about my new guitar! Her name’s Lupin.
• Rerecorded the mini lecture. Now to re-record the video portion. Oof. Am I ever going to get to my dissertation chapter?
• Therapy! I’m keeping so busy it’s ridiculous.
• My sister sent me some birthday treats from some places in San Francisco that make amazing shortbread and chocolate treats. She knows me so well ❤ I also got to FaceTime with her a bit as I opened the box. I would’ve loved to share some of the treats with her. Alas, the hazards of living on the opposite coast of your sister.
• Currently feeling: Is it wrong that I love how much work I have to do?
• Currently looping: Taylor Swift’s “State of Grace.” I agree with one of my blockmates. This song is very underrated. And dang, “Red” is such a good album.

Thank you so much for reading! Stay safe, wear a mask, and stay warm!