Greetings, Internet! Hope everyone’s staying as safe and sane as can be (while also fostering a healthy dose of anger that is being directed productively). I went outside a couple of times this week (once for a cookie haul), binged “Hannibal,” and it’s finally technically fall! Daily summaries below!

Day One Hundred and Ninety (9/18/20)

• Did the FES cycle. Watched more “Hannibal.”
• Did a work Skype with a friend. Got through some of Gregory of Tours’ The Life of the Fathers.
• Currently feeling: Hollow. Got the notification that RBG passed away. Then screamed loudly in my apartment. It’s possible to mourn her and reflect on how much of a boss she was throughout her life; and also feel outrage that so much was placed on her shoulders. I’ve seen some people post things like, “2020 can’t get any worse.” Haven’t you people ever watched a movie before? When you say things like that, it always gets worse. There was a tweet I agreed with as I doom-scrolled through Twitter after hearing the news: “Vote like she’s watching.” Register to vote. Vote early. Do everything that is in your power to counteract that one idiot on your newsfeed who says it can’t get any worse.
• Currently looping: The Smashing Pumpkins’ “For Martha.” It’s a sad song that I would loop on my iPod on nights when it was particularly hard to sleep in the hospital. Figured some of you might need such a song right now.

Day One Hundred and Ninety-One (9/19/20)

• There was a bomb threat at Princeton. Got an all-clear a couple of hours later, but yikes, I hope they catch/caught the person responsible.
• My sister visited! She brought some treats from Bourke Street Bakery. #shoplocal
• We watched “Casino Royale” (because I hadn’t seen it before) and started a crossword. I’m really not great at keeping up with Bond movies. It was good, though.
• We then did some outdoor dining, and I got a cocktail that was much stronger than it appeared. Then did some drunk texting.
• Practiced guitar. Writing new original stuff because it’s bringing me joy. It’s probably faster to record myself one day, and then do one day of video filming, instead of three days of video filming for covers. I shall try it out this upcoming week.
• There was a lot of music happening outside my building around 9:30pm-ish. I have no idea why.
• Total number of days I ventured outside: Thirteen
• Currently feeling: I need to start being honest about my Spotify listening habits. I know there’s that Spotify year-end wrap up every year, and part of me selects artists/songs to listen to solely because I want to seem a certain way when I post my “Wrapped Up” summary. Why should I feel embarrassed at how much I listen to music that was popular in the 2000s? Or that my top song is probably either No Doubt’s “Simple Kind of Life” or BTS’ “Mic Drop” (the former to cry and the latter to dance)? Or that my top artists are probably Sara Bareilles, Evanescence, Fiona Apple, No Doubt, and Taylor Swift? Seriously, instead of listening to certain things on Spotify, I listen to them endlessly in an Incognito browser. Who does that? I should feel no shame about my listening habits. Gosh, this is a weird thing to admit.
• Currently looping: Sara Bareilles’ “Breathe Again.” Perhaps by the time quarantine is over, I will have gone through all of Sara Bareilles’ discography.

Day One Hundred and Ninety-Two (9/20/20)

• Did the FES cycle. Watched more “Hannibal.” Am working on a reflex in which I look away from particularly creepy moments at the right time. This is not a great reflex. Also, I can’t look away.
• Recorded some audio for a cover. Will have to sleep on it to see if I like it, but so far it’s acceptable.
• Attended a surprise birthday Zoom party for an old college friend. I say “old” in that their soul has been the same age as that of Mr. Frederickson from “Up” in all of the time I have known them (so, since 2011). For context, they are one year older than I am.
• I have so many packages sitting at my door and have yet to open any of them. I should really get on that. Last time I didn’t open a package quickly enough, a spider crawled in. Come to think of it, the spider may already be in there. Maybe I’ll open it next weekend.
• Currently feeling: It’s sweater weather. I type this while wearing a light sweater in my apartment. I know technically the autumnal equinox is later this week, but it’s basically fall. One does not wear sweaters during summers on the east coast. Ergo, it’s fall. Break out the decorative gourds.
• Currently looping: Taylor Swift’s “Clean.” Seriously underrated song off of 1989.

Day One Hundred and Ninety-Three (9/21/20)

• Had one of those mornings where my alarm went off at 7:30am, I turned it off, closed my eyes for a moment, and then reawoke to find that both hands and forearms had fallen asleep (apparently I was hugging myself tightly enough that my circulation momentarily gave up? Should I look into that?). After a few seconds of shaking them back to life, I checked my phone: 8:06am. Whoops.
• Did some arm exercises while watching “Hannibal.” Finished season one. Then got sucked into the beginning of season two.
• Guitar lesson! Learned about more fun chords. There’s an actual name to them, but I forgot them, so I’m just going to call them “fun chords.” Also played yet another angry song I’m working on. Elicited a “geez!” from my instructor for one particular line.
• Recorded the video portion of a cover. So that’s ready to go for Thursday, unless I have another listen and think, “Oh gosh, what was I thinking?”. But I’m trying to avoid that scenario. It’s definitely faster to record audio and visual separately. Is it better, though? We shall see.
• Currently feeling: I don’t own a clock. I have a phone and a watch. My oven doesn’t even have a clock, and I don’t own a microwave. I should get a clock. It’ll help with my sense of time, for sure.
• Currently looping: Garbage’s “Night Drive Loneliness.” Sometimes you just want to put on giant headphones and listen to sadness.

Day One Hundred and Ninety-Four (9/22/20)

• Did the FES cycle.
• Ordered hella granola. Needed to restock. Might have also stocked up on instant oatmeal.
• Went outside! Not going to lie, I 90% did it because one of my favorite cookie brands was on sale at Eataly. (50% off the best nutella oreos, seriously, how could I resist?)
• Didn’t think I’d ever raise my voice at a therapy session, but that happened. I said I was feeling “meh” and things escalated from there.
• Outside count: Fourteen times!
• Watched more “Hannibal.” So twisted. So addictive.
• Ordered a flash drive so I could put all my covers/original material somewhere. My laptop basically ran out of space (turns out videos take up quite a bit of space). Took about forty-five minutes to transfer everything over.
• Currently feeling: Still meh. But at least I have a better understanding of where the “meh” is coming from. Ah, the benefits of having an objective third party point out things to you, and then stewing in it long enough to make connections.
• Currently looping: Sia, Miguel, and Queen Latifah’s cover of “Satisfied” from “The Hamilton Mixtape.”

Day One Hundred and Ninety-Five (9/23/20)

• Did arm exercises while watching “Hannibal.” They pulled a “Game of Thrones” on me. And now I grieve for a fictional character.
• Guess who spent over half an hour on the phone with a medical supply company and now has to get another prescription for a vital medical supply? This girl, right here.
• Then guess who spent two hours trying to figure out which key was best for a song, and then realized the one she started with was probably the best? Right, again. No time to really record anything because of guitar experimenting.
• Realized that because yesterday was the first day of Fall, that means I went, for the first time ever, an entire summer without getting a single mosquito bite. #victory
• I don’t think I’m going to post tomorrow’s cover. I’m not happy with it. Also it seems especially tone deaf this week to post anything. I’ll start the October playlist next week (when it will be, well, October).
• Currently feeling: So unproductive. Is it possible to get a lot of things done in the day, and yet still feel like you’ve accomplished nothing? I suppose I got a lot of administrative stuff out of the way. But then I felt too tired to do anything else. I’m so tired. I even wrote a song about how tired I am. It’s more of a “Ingrid Michaelson meets Skylar Grey” vibe than my usual angry vibe. Because that is how tired I am. Or maybe I’m just angry at how powerless most of us are. Maybe it’s that.
• Currently looping: Death Cab for Cutie’s “Someday You Will Be Loved.” Really in that emo headspace.

Day One Hundred and Ninety-Six (9/24/20)

• Did the FES cycle. Watched more “Hannibal.” Missed a virtual workshop because it started just as my FES cycle workout ended and I needed to hop in the shower to get to my Zoom reading group on time. #gradstudentoverbooking
• Did a virtual hangout with a friend I hadn’t seen since 2016. We both use wheelchairs, and it’s so nice to complain about life with a fellow wheelchair-using woman. Also realized I’m more into the horror genre than I originally thought. I should look into that.
• Zoom reading group! It’s wonderful to talk to fellow female academics.
• After feeling meh for the first half of this week, I decided to eat my feelings in the form of tacos.
• Writing workshop! Drank a couple of margaritas.
• Currently feeling: I am so full of tacos.
• Currently looping: SNL’s “RBG Rap.” Makes me realize I don’t know enough of her dissents/opinions. I should do some reading.

Thanks so much for reading! Stay safe, wear a mask, and finalize your voting plans!