Self-Isolation Diaries – Week 10

Greetings, Internet! How’s everyone doing? Academia continues to plummet both on my campus and across the country/world, I’ve been learning about the world of flutes, my video posting schedule has gone from Monday/Wednesday/Friday to Monday/Thursday, the WiFi went out in my neighborhood for the first time since the lockdown began, and I started therapy! What a week it’s been! Daily summaries below.

Day Sixty-Four (5/15/20)

  • Did the FES cycle. Watched “Legends of Tomorrow.”
  • It’s official – I start therapy next week! We shall see how this goes. There’s a part of me that wants to document everything, but there’s such a tiny group of people I’d actually feel comfortable with reading anything therapy-related that I’m also like, “ehh…maybe not.”
  • “Avatar: The Last Airbender” is on Netflix! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Also, for those who are interested in the series, but not the whole thing (which, um, I’m sorry, but we can no longer be friends if you decide you’d rather skip this delightful animated show entirely, this article will tell you which episodes to watch).
  • Currently feeling: I didn’t post a video today. It wasn’t ready. I’m definitely cutting down videos to one or two per week. I tried posting something last week that wasn’t ready, and I was really unhappy with it. I thought I was being too hard on myself, but I’m actually just frustrated that I rushed it. Why bother getting a nice microphone if I’m going to waste it?
  • Currently looping: Against the Current’s “Legends Never Die.” Yes, I know this is a song specifically made for a video game, but dang, it’s catchy.


Day Sixty-Five (5/16/20)

  • After doing a bit of research, I discovered that my current flute comes from a brand that is very much not recommended by flute teachers. Also I found out that I should have upgraded my flute in middle school/high school/literally after elementary school. Goshdarnit. I need to visit the Flute Center of New York (why, ‘Rona, why?!). But first, I should practice with what I have. I made the mistake of mentioning wanting to upgrade my flute to my parents, one of whom immediately replied, “Do flutes need to be replaced? Just clean the one you have.” And that, folks, is why I have been using a beginner-level flute for way too long.
  • Recorded Monday’s cover. I am actually really pleased with how it turned out, because I had more time to practice. Two videos per week, it is! I’m thinking a Monday/Thursday schedule? I thought about recording Thursday’s video, too, but then my parents called and I was on the phone with them for over an hour, so that didn’t end up happening.
  • Started watching Jerry Seinfeld’s comedy special on Netflix. It was very Seinfeld.
  • FaceTimed my sister. Didn’t get super drunk this time, but was inebriated enough to play my “Breakup Playlist” on Spotify while I did the dishes and tidied up my apartment. And now that I’m in the standing frame, I’m alternating between a Smashing Pumpkins playlist and a Backstreet Boys playlist. It’s been a weird day, musically.
  • Who’s watching the Women’s Artistic Gymnastics All Around from 2016 while drinking a hot beverage? This gal.
  • Currently feeling: I went to bed close to 2am last night, and am trying not to do the same tonight. It may very well happen though. And then I’ll get up at like, 7:30/8am, which feels late. Will I ever fix my pandemic sleep schedule? Lol.
  • Currently looping: The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Disarm.”


Day Sixty-Six (5/17/20)

  • Did the FES cycle.
  • Recorded Thursday’s song. Yup, I’m doing a Monday/Thursday schedule now. It’s happening. I need extra time to practice like, three musical instruments. And also write my dissertation.
  • Ordered Tacombi. I have missed tacos. Also I missed margaritas, which they now deliver. Also also I miss guacamole. I just ate so much guac.
  • Got hella drunk at writing workshop. My writing buddy is way too patient with how I get sloppy drunk. Maybe I should do that “Hollaback Girl” song request he keeps suggesting. Except most of the song will be me hitting my desk rhythmically while spelling “bananas.”
  • Currently feeling: Drunk. With like, several “u”s and “n”s. Druuuuunnnnnnk.
  • Currently looping: Lindsey Stirling’s “Shatter Me” (feat. Lzzy Hale). Lzzy Hale’s voice is just, ugh, it’s everything.


Day Sixty-Seven (5/18/20)

  • Posted my cover of Hole’s “Malibu.” First time I didn’t have to show a video to someone to make sure it wasn’t embarrassing before posting it. Yes, I routinely show videos to people before posting to make sure they’re not terrible. But not this time!
  • Tried my first attempt at split-screen recordings. Actually went well! I won’t post anything with a split screen this week. But maybe next week?
  • Did a work hangout with a friend. Read some of Peter Brown’s Ransom of the Soul. I still haven’t said more than three words to him on campus, probably because I’m too intimidated by his amazing scholarship. #guystheawkwardnerdyfangirlingisreal
  • Attempted to write fiction. Borrowed heavily from my life and added in things that definitely did not happen. I’m guessing that’s how fiction writing works?
  • Tried to download TikTok. Learned that I don’t have enough space on my phone to download it. Probably a sign that I should not download TikTok.
  • Currently feeling: Today was a super productive day. I’m going to go to bed close to 2am again, but I mean, points for productivity? I don’t know. It’s hard to have super productive days and go to bed at a reasonable hour. I mean, I know it’s possible, but I also can’t remember the last time I did that. Someday I’ll learn how to balance both. Or so I tell myself.
  • Currently looping: Ramin Djawadi’s “The Night King.” Excellent writing music. Also, I know people tend to hate on the last season of Game of Thrones, but the music was freaking spectacular.


Day Sixty-Eight (5/19/20)

  • Did the FES cycle. Watched a makeup declutter video and realized I should probably tidy up my collection, which is slowly eating up space on my desk.
  • Made myself some hot cocoa with marshmallows from The Chocolate Room. Probably should have consumed it in the morning, because boy, am I wired.
  • Attended a virtual town hall for my History Department. The consensus among faculty seems to be that there are plenty of non-tenure track jobs that grad students should go for. Awesome. So, what should I do? Also, how’s that funding situation going? Should I start looking up jobs as a high school teacher? Actually, you know what would’ve been awesome? Learning video production so that I could start a “Drunk History – Middle Ages Edition” show. How can I make that happen?
  • Another cover channel left a positive comment on my “Malibu” cover! So of course I returned the favor on one of their covers.
  • Currently feeling: Not sure how I feel about this article. Am I living my best single life? I mean, kind of. I don’t think I’d have rediscovered my love of playing music if I was stuck here with another human, because odds are I’d just want to watch all of the Disney+ with the other human (and then yell at them when I felt like I was too behind on my dissertation work, and then ignore them for twelve hours straight while I dissertation-ed, or something like that). Although I guess this line resonated a bit with me: “I worry that I’ll get too used to being alone and won’t want to reacclimate. I worry that there’ll be no good men left, or that there were no good men to begin with. I worry a lot.” I mean, I alternate between this sort of worry (that I’ll become a total pro at being alone and the thought of a partner will garner genuine discomfort), and then the relief that if there are no good men out there, then I can just skip the whole relationship thing and focus on my career/literally anything else. Skip skippity skip.
  • Currently looping: The A*Teens’ cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.” (Might not fit with how I’m currently feeling, but whatever.) There are definitely more socially acceptable versions of this song out there, but my heart was craving the cheesy pop version from the “Lilo and Stitch” soundtrack. I apologize for nothing.


Day Sixty-Nine (5/20/20)

  • My mother stopped by for a visit! I showed her how I was working on doing a split-screen on an upcoming video (the second half of the screen is going to be used for backup vocals). She actually liked it!
  • Sat through about ten minutes of technical difficulties during a crowdcast featuring Tony Grafton and Yaacob Dweck. There are about 350 people streaming this event, which just goes to show that more people will show up to virtual events. And it feels way more chill. I’m a fan.
  • Read about another gymnastics scandal. I’m so glad that Laurie Hernandez has found a new coaching environment. There is a circle of hell for coaches who mistreat their athletes.
  • Watched a comedy show via Zoom. Got to hear a bit about how one comedian is aggravated about his neighbors who are trying to learn instruments. I gave an awkward chuckle and thought about whether or not I should reassemble my flute (lol, nah, she’s getting reassembled, because I don’t know how to do guitar solos on a guitar and need to fill the space with an instrument).
  • Currently feeling: I got an email from my alma mater asking if I could contribute to career mentorship for undergrads. And then I realized I have acquired zero ways to help undergrads in any career that isn’t related to academia. And there are no jobs in academia. Womp womp.
  • Currently looping: Franz Ferdinand’s “The Dark of the Matinée.” I know, such a middle school throwback.


Day Seventy (5/21/20)

  • The WiFi in my neighborhood (yes, the whole neighborhood) was out from 10am until roughly 7pm today. I was not a happy camper.
  • Did the FES cycle.
  • Missed a Zoominar because the WiFi was still out.
  • Did my first therapy session. But it was over the phone. Probably would’ve helped my therapist to see my facial reactions. Alas. She gave me homework, which was an unexpected surprise/delight. I’m so bad at communicating things verbally. I’m much better with writing.
  • Movie night! Rewatched “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” which is still a cinematic masterpiece.
  • Currently feeling: Well, it only took seventy days for the WiFi to go out. So, I guess that’s a good thing? I’m not sure.
  • Currently looping: Not even kidding, as I was listening to Evanescence’s “Bring Me to Life (Synthesis),” the WiFi came back on. Evanescence FTW.

Thanks so much for reading! Stay safe out there!

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